lets see... i hate looking at mirrors! no i'm not superstitious, i just really don't like to look at my face, I keep critiquing it.
I can't stand that kid in class (and theres always one, two if you're cursed) who makes it his sole purpose to answer even the most redundant questions in class. i mean lets be honest, professors sometimes ask question that have answers so obvious, our silence should resonate as a collective "well, DUH!". the kid asks questions and in the same breath, answers them and after class he practically has his lips suctioned to the professors ass. damn it, if i had a dollar for everytime i wanted to rip out his tounge and make him eat it!
I am very shy when i'm surrounded by a lot of people that i don't know. i feel like everyone is looking and pointing, like that dream where you show up to school in your birthday suit and your teachers and classmates are in hysterics. you stand there, fool that you are, wondering how in Gods name you could be in such a hurry as to forget putting clothes on - well if you haven't had that dream "mr. well-adjusted", WHATEVER!!. in situations like that, i feel like evaporating. its even affected the way i walk. i've heard that i walk as though i have something between my cheeks, that i lean forward way too much it looks like i'm about to tip over, i'm too stiff or i walk too fast. i mean at this point, i really don't know how to walk anymore. i'm constantly adjusting and correcting and checking my posture and sticking my ass in a little and proping my shoulders a little higher and ... *breathe* ... moving on
I have also been made aware (by my cousin almost a decade younger) that i have " no style sense". now i'll admit, i haven't shopped for more than 5 items of clothing in ...maybe 2 years ... give or take a couple months (damn that sounds bad). I know, i know, thats soooooo not gay but i'm trying, i bought a couple of T-shirts on my way to the barber the other day coz they were 20% off and fell well within the amount of change i happened to have in my wallet. The problem - if you want to call it that, is I just don't see the point in spending money that way. i mean my clothes are clean, they're cool ... well at least to me and if anyone disagrees..well, they don't matter anyway. I like my style and it may not be whats hot now but who the F cares about whats hot, I make my own heat!
I watched flavor of love, flavor of love 2 and I love New york.... oh man i'm embarrassed just saying it but its true, I watched and laughed and took a long shower afterwards.
To Be Continued...
2 comments:
Sweetheart, what is it to be "gay"? Is it in the dress sense or the desire in sexes? *I think I know I just wonder if you know*
Style is what you make of it, you can wear the same outfit everyday, not wash it, and still make it work.
I've never had that naked dream before.....uhm, I guess I'm just very comfortable wherever I go. Mind you, in 8 years I attended 4 schools :) I think I should know a thing or two about "wanting to fit in". To get rid of my shyness I suck on people's energies, like I see a person who's talking only out of nervousness and I just keep eye balling them till I feel them avoid my eyes, that makes me stronger and less shy and well, too bad for the other person...:)
the flavor and new york shows were funny. so much ignorance in one television program. Tragedy or comedy? *shrug* I know I laughed.
I have had MUCh criticism over the way i walk. So many comments ,good and bad...i've been told ; 1)I float too gracefully
2)walk too stiffly like there is a "pole in my back/stick up my butt" depending who's saying it
3) I switch (SOOO not true)
ugh
I think i will make a post briefly covering this subject. Thanx for the inspiration!
BTW...Throw something surreptitiously at the boy who annoys you in class....trust me it will make you feel better. (i'm in a mischeivous mood today. Probably why I'm reading blogs from work!)
HOLLA
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