Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Random "drive" down memory lane

I flunked my driving test twice before getting my license.

How I flunked the first one?

Got in the car with the instructor.
She said start your engine, I did.
She said drive to the exit, I did.
She said make a right, I turned left.
She promptly began writing.
I apologised profusely. She just nodded and kept on writing.
Mid way through the course, she was still writing.
I asked if I was failing just to get some encouragement.
She said no...
I had already failed.
B!TCH!

How I flunked the second one?

I put on my seatbelt
Adjusted my mirrors
Looked both ways
Put my signals on
Merged seemlessly into traffic
Smiled at instructor, He didn't smile back. But heck, he wasn't writing. That was good..
drove half a mile
parallel parked successfully on my first try, BOOYAKA!
Smiled at the instructor, He didn't smile back. Still wasn't writing. That was good..
Staring down at the home stretch, I could see the finish line.
One more turn to make.
The turn gets closer....and closer...and closer and finaly, I turn........no signal. I say a little prayer
Hope he doesn't notice, besides the test was almost over anyway.
We get to the end. I turn to him, smile and the son of a gun starts writing, and he writes and writes and writes and what was he writing you ask?

well quite a bit actually,
parallel parked past the curb, into the grass...accelerates during turns... doesn't ease into a stop...etc

and oh yea, TURNS WITHOUT SIGNALS!

My Cousins advice..."Why don't you just pass the damn test!"

10 comments:

BlackGirl said...

Amateur.... :-)

I took mine FOUR times.

Barely three minutes into the second test, I missed a STOP sign.

Beat that. LOL.

Admin UD said...

Damn, da second one was so clooose, this close!

Spook E said...

DAMN blackgirl, you got me!


@Ugo daniels: Thats exactly what I told myself on my way home. I actually contemplated begging the guy...my dignity got in my way though!

Mamarita said...

You flunked your test 2ice, I failed mines 5 times. Thats right.

1st time, I didn't obey the rules of the road (so complicated, you can't turn right on red but can go left on green, who remembers that?)
2nd time, too many mistakes
3rd time, I was confident enough
4th time, the lady was just being mean
5th time, The guy needed to get laid, it wasn't my fault, maybe I didn't turn too fast or something

The day I passed I knew I was going to pass, I'd been driving on the highway for months, I told the guy this OBVIOUSLY, and I wowed him.


2 years later, my G2 (Licence) expired on me and no one would book me for a G test, so I had to start from scratch!

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

If its any consolation I passed on my third time.

The first time I should have passed, I even had the nicest invigilator but I stalled 5 times on one spot (which consitutes to a serious fault in the UK - well 3 times does rather), and had only 2 other minors, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the car to start properly. Bless the invigilator finally had to tell me what to do. My actual instructor said of all things I failed she couldn't believe I failed as a result of stalling when NEVER in our lessons had I ever stalled except in the very first lesson.

The second time I had this racist bastard who I'm sure failed me even before I turned the sat in the car.

Third time I knew I had a few minors but I stalled going up the ramp at the gate of the test centre, and I freaked out and barely stopped the car from rolling backwards, I almost kissed him when he said I passed, and then he laughingly said I had no idea how close I came to failing as a result of that final stall.

Thank fuck I don't think I could have gone through another test, I was getting so infuriated.

Thanks for the comment. Great post for dregging the memories :o)

Jaja said...

different story here.

I was 15. My sieter was my instructor.

Sis: cluth down before you break
me: yes ( with a sheen of sweat appearing on my forehead)

I brake suddenly.
sis: are you mad? get down from the car. i ll drive you home

i learnt anyway. i applied for my Licenece once i turned 18. From home. No test whatever..

is it only in Nigeria those things are possible? wonders shall never end!

Rick Rockhill said...

That's pretty funny...I can relate. Looking back I was a dork about it.

Stop by and say hi sometime!

Spook E said...

@mamarita: ok you got blackgirl beat lol...did you fail it again after you lost you license? that be hilarious.

@soul: 3rd times a charm for me and you both. If I failed a third time, I'd probably be too embarrassed to be infuriated :)

@jaja: LMAO. You know, the same think happened to me when I attemted to learn with the stick beack in Nigeria. The guy who was teaching spent a hour instructing me about the dymnaics of clutching and breaking which completely went right over my head. He kicked my out less that a minute into my first attempt. that would end up being my only attempt!

@Palm: Sure thing, I'm a serial blog stalker but invitations are...well they are just damn nice. thanks for stopping by.

cally-waffybabe said...

I passed on my third attempt as well!!!

Anonymous said...

i LOL on that one. lol

i failed my test once... and that was after I had been driving for years... (had to replace my license). lol.