Yesterday's Dance Madness

Boring day thus far...I'm at work. Tyrone my handsome Jamaican co-worker just left for the day, he offered to buy me lunch, how sweet. I declined. He's always complaining to me about money...he says he never has enough with all the bills he has to pay *2 to be exact*. I let him bounce his sorry tales of dearth and dissatisfaction off my ear drums. I've never worked up enough nerve to tell him how uninterested I am about his financial affairs...I guess I feel its rude to do that.

Yesterday I spent the evening with Mike and Kathy. Mike is my friend from my sophomore year. He's Chinese-american and as close to a best friend I've had since I came to this country. Kathy I met through Mike...she's also Chinese and a student and has a boyfriend in Atlanta. The way these two have been hanging out, all inseperable-like, I'm beginning to wonder if there is a budding romance...btw Mike knows all about her boyfriend. I want to tell Mike that as soon as she graduates she'll dump his ass for her real boyfriend *race has something to do with my gut feeling, boyfriend is white.* Thats just speculation on my part though, I could be very wrong so I'm not going to say nada! If I'm right and his heart gets broken, it'll heal and he'll be the wiser, if i'm wrong...i'm wrong, and they both live happily ever after.

So we were hanging out, all three of us, listening to music from youtube when Kathy caught the dancing bug and started to "dip it low" and shimmy up slow in the middle of the room...I told her she danced well...actually I only said this because Mike said so first and i felt their eyes nagging me for acknowledgment... fishing for compliments? ... whatever! I took the bait and she proceeded to convulse...err... I mean dance more feverishly than ever. She loved the attention...I thought to myself, if she ever needed extra cash, she could dance for the frat boys on college ave...with the breasts jiggling and the ass gyrating and the hands gropping both, she'll be a frat superstar.

I thought I'd only have to suffer through this girl's "dance" by watching it. HA! Mike got up right next to her and began this slow sway with his hips that...i suppose was...dancing? .... could it be? He had his hands in the air switching from "pushing the ceiling" to that up and down hand wave you see at hip hop concerts all the while lip synching to eminems "lose yourself". I should add here that the music had switched from wamdue project's "king of my castle", dance music through and through, to eminem's rap but my girl Kathy either didn't notice or didn't care, her dancing had not changed at all. I panicked. I knew it was a matter of time before I'd be obligated to join the impromptu burst of merriment and I couldn't remember the last time my body had moved in rhythm to music. Damn you Mike, betrayer par excellence!

Sure enough Mike asked...make that TOLD me to get up on the dance floor...trying not to look the fool *go figure* I walk over to them and it really hits me that I can't dance to crazy, fast, "I'm a rhythm on acid" type of music, case in point, madonna's "ray of light" which Kathy had switch to but, still doing the same dance as before...I mean put me in a sexy situation... lights dim, bodies swaying to the rhythm of a soft R&B beat...montel jordan... "get it on tonite" oohh yea, you've got me in my element...but this, this was madness , the kind best left to the pro's. They wouldn't let me change the music. They heard a note of Mary J's "Family Affair" and concluded it was waaaay to slow.

So I just stood there, periodically moving an arm, shaking a leg literally and snapping my neck when I deemed that appropriate. Thankfully they wore themselves out and I decided to leave before they thought to include me in an encore.

Got home to peace and quiet...no more dancing for me. I'll be the guy in the club seated at the bar or standing in the shadows, too cool to dance to madonna! Ya'll can go break a leg and I'll say that with a voodoo doll in one hand and a sledghammer in the other.